Taking Charge of Your Succession Plan Can Change Your Life

One of the greatest rewards of my job as vice president of business development for Foundation Partners Group is getting to know independent funeral business owners and listening to their hopes and dreams for the future. Some are looking for additional resources to help them grown their businesses, while others simply want to slow down, shed the day-to-day responsibilities of business ownership and refocus on the ministry of service. Still others are looking to retire and pursue other interests in life.

I've also found in recent years the owners contemplating a sale are getting younger. While most owners we speak with are of traditional "retirement age", more and more owners are starting these conversations in their mid to late forties. There are a tremendous number of life changing decisions to make before selling a business and the process can feel overwhelming at times. As someone who sold a family funeral home early in my career, I find that sharing my personal story of career discovery can often give owners a fresh perspective.

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The Demands of Job

In 1978, my dad purchased a rural funeral home in Independence, OR, and eventually renamed  Farnstrom Mortuary. I grew up in a home next door and have fond memories playing basketball in the mortuary parking lot with my older brother. However, I also remember missing my dad at school functions and sporting events because of the demands of his 70- to 80-hour workweeks.

As owner of the only funeral home in town, Dad took a great pride in the number of families who entrusted him to handle their final arrangements. As he approached his mid-forties and began to consider long-term succession options, Dad was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis (MS), and his plan was never fully developed. He continued to work but as his disease progressed, he had to back away from the business and hired another licensed funeral director to help.

Dad never pressured my brother or me to join the business, but it was a tough time for our family. We did what we had to do, and my brother went directly form high school to mortuary school. I was 16 at the time with a budding entrepreneurial spirit so I launched a mortuary transport service in Salem, OR, with a couple of cots and a old Chevy Astro van. After high school, I followed my brother to mortuary school.

I joined Farnstrom Mortuary at 22 and, in partnership with my brother, purchased the business the following year. Together, we grew the family business to three locations by the time I was 27. Sadly, Dad lost his battle with MS at the age of 56. His passing was a tremendous loss, but it would be six years before I fully realized the impact it had on my life.

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Opportunity Knocks

My brother and I kept our noses down, continued to work hard, and started our own families. When I was 29, we created Care Cremation Society; and three years later, we were approached by a large corporate consolidator about a possible sale. That was a real turning point for me.

When I joined the family business, my goal was to make it the largest firm in the Pacific Northwest, and we were well on our way to achieving that. But as I considered the opportunity to sell the business, I reflected on my dad, my youth, and my own young family. I remembered the holidays that he missed and, after working the same 70- to 80 hour workweeks, I reflected on the things I had already missed in the lives of my two young daughters.

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‍While I greatly enjoyed building a lasting business with my family to serve our community, I have no regrets about accelerating my exit plan and finding a new way to serve the profession. Each of us must follow our heart and map out a succession plan that prioritizes what matters.

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I was 32 years old, 10 years younger than Dad was when one doctor's visit changed everything. I realized that my family meant more to me than calling myself a business owner or seeing my name on a building. I wanted to remain active in the funeral profession but began to set new personal goals and challenges for my career. I wanted to help elevate our profession to reflect the service and quality standards passed on to me by my dad.

We sold Farnstrom Family Mortuaries in 2012. My brother and I both left Oregon but followed different paths. Now, he sells real state in Arizona, and I lead partnership discussions for Foundation Partners Group throughout the Southwest and Southeast.

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It's About Priorities

Today, I speak with funeral home owners who reference life events they've had to miss over their careers. I learn how they're dealing with everyday pressures of business ownership and how they're coping with the unprecedented changes and challenges presented by the pandemic, economic uncertainty, and new consumer preferences.

I share my story and help others craft succession plans with Foundation Partners that allow them to create balance in their lives. My girls are now 14 and 16 and my current position allows me to attend more than 90% of their activities. While I greatly enjoyed building a lasting business with my family to serve our community, I have no regrets about accelerating my exit plan and finding a new way to serve the profession. Each of us must follow our heart and map out a succession plan that prioritizes what matters.

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Ben Farnstrom is vice president of business development for Foundation Partners Group, a position he assumed after serving as the company's area vice president for five years. A licensed funeral director & embalmer, Ben has over 25 years industry experience. He is the former president and co-owner of Farnstrom Family Mortuaries and co-founder of Oregon's Care Cremation Society. Ben can be reached at Benjamin.farnstrom@foundationpartners.com